Thursday, December 4, 2008

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The Lighter Side

13 Ways to Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity

1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
   
   
2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.
   
   
3. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "in."
   
   
4. Put decaf in this coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
   
   
5. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for smuggling diamonds."
   
   
6. Finish all your sentences with "In Accordance with The Prophecy."
   
   
7. Order a diet water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.
   
   
8. Specify that your drive-through order is "To Go."
   
   
9. Put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical sounds all day.
   
   
10. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.
    
    
11. When the money comes out the ATM, scream "I Won, I Won!"
    
    
12. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling "Run For Your Lives, They're Loose!!"
    
    
13. Tell your children over dinner, "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."